Wednesday, November 3, 2010


As we work to prepare for our trip, there are many unknowns that trouble me from time to time. Are we going to be able to sell our car? Are we going to be able to find a home for our cat while we are away? Are we going to run out of money too soon? Will Brian be able to find a job when we come home? In our lives there are always unknowns, but our choice to leave what is secure adds a few more to our plate. For me this is intentional. I want to work on how to accept and embrace the unknowns of my life with grace and confidence. Celebrate them in fact. Be present and accepting of all that is now.

On the wall of my cubicle I have a little note that says “Non-Resistance, Non-Judgment, Non-Attachment” and another that says “To complain is non-acceptance of what is. Either take action, or accept the situation”. Both of these thoughts were garnered from this book. I think this book changed my life. It really did. Now Tolle didn’t necessarily share original thoughts and ideas on spirituality and presence, but he explained them in a way that resonated with me powerfully. The concept of your thoughts not being you, that the voice in your head is not your spirit, but a monotonous phonograph replaying all of the thoughts that limit you, hinder you and stunt you from growth and presence really started the transformation that has been happening inside of me for the last 2 years. I’ve re-read and re-listened to the book a number of times. Being in the now is a muscle you must continually exercise to have it be prominent for even just moments a day. It is worth it. Those moments are the best moments I have experienced in my life. Present with the world, with a loved one, with a pet, etc. and not worrying about the future or past whatsoever. Giving my full and active attention to one moment as it unfolds. What a beautiful thing. I am hoping to create a life that encourages the emanation of these moments more often. Tolle would maybe say that I don’t need to do anything, just “be” in whatever situation I am in. That may be true, but when your life is full of hectic activities that you don’t necessarily want to be doing, maybe the chances of hitting that “now” are slimmer?

I have a dream of working part time when we return to the states and spending that extra time doing activities that help our family live more sustainably. Gardening, cooking, canning, sewing, etc. Living on less so we can enjoy our family more. Using this trip as a springboard for transformation. Leaping into the unknown with no parachute and feeling the wind and air tickle our skin as we descend into something different. Waiting to see what the universe has to offer.

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