I am finding that preparing for this trip is affording me the opportunity to work on the Buddhist principle of non-attachment. I will be leaving many things/people/loved ones behind and I am working on recognizing that each of us have our own paths we must follow to develop as we hope to in this life, and that love is not a harness, it is something that is inside you wherever you go, both your love for others, and their love for you. Holding on too tightly to what we love may be an over-attachment to the sensation of love. I want to become more comfortable with a loose and omnipresent understanding of love, not a physical or obligatory one. In reading Remember, Be Here Now lately I am starting to see the many ways in which I limit myself and others with the ways I have “loved” them. This includes judgment of another’s choices, desire for more contact and connection, and a sense of obligation in order to avoid guilt.
To try and illustrate what I am talking about, my cat Biscuit and I have lived together for 8 years. That is longer than any romantic relationship I have ever had. Many feelings arise in me as I think about leaving him with other caring folks while I explore and travel for a long time. I worry that he will feel abandoned or not know that I love him. That he will be scared or angry. But all of this does not matter. For all I know, he could be thrilled to embark on his own new adventure. Loving him doesn’t mean that I never allow our lives to be different. That would be a disservice to us both. I guess what I am trying to say is that we all have a path to follow, and most often it differs from those around you. We are all unique and here on earth striving for different goals in our lifetimes. Maybe or maybe not these are determined at our birth based on our past lives, but either way, we need to allow each other the room to go where we need to go. And try to direct our love light out to each other and out to the world in every moment we are with or not with each other.