Sunday, November 28, 2010
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Monday, November 15, 2010
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
This weekend I spoke to a clairvoyant for a while. I have always been drawn to psychics, tarot and palm readers, etc. I’m not sure why, and I am not sure I believe any of what they say, but I find their interactions with me and their thoughts interesting. This woman strongly believes in past lives and the idea that souls come from and go back to a source energy. That the purpose of life is to all evolve to a higher level of consciousness. And that souls “choose” the hardships they wish to experience in their lives in order to evolve to different soul ages. There are supposedly 5 ages of souls according to the “Michael teachings” that she talked about.
I feel like this really sort of makes sense. I can see infant souls, baby souls, mature souls around me. Their characteristics seem spot on. Why does it feel so silly to admit that reincarnation could be possible? Evolution of souls could be possible? We can’t prove that this paradigm doesn’t exist, so in my mind, I can’t let go of the possibility that it does.
A friend told me about a deep meditative experience he had where he started seeing all of these faces flash before his eyes and he could feel within that the images were himself in all of his past lives. When he described the faces he saw, the ethnicities, I got the chills. I could see what a powerful vision it was for him.
When I met Brian, on our first date there was a moment when I looked at him and he felt so familiar to me. I really felt like I had known him before, that I had a strong love for him already, even though I barely knew him in this life. The psychic said that was because we have been part of this cluster of souls that move away and back to the “source energy” together. That we pick each other often to help us through our life journeys. It feels so easy with Brian every day. Maybe we have known each other for lifetimes and that’s why? Why not?
So what does this have to do with our trip? She told me that some of the specific areas we will be visiting will have strong/tough energy for me because of difficult past life experiences. That I suffered in certain regions and will feel that energy coming back to me when I am there again. I find that interesting and am curious what my reactions will be.
I used to dismiss the reincarnation idea entirely due to mathematics. If souls keep returning to earth, but the population keeps growing, aren’t then humans only fractions of the original souls? If you don’t consider earth as the only place for souls to explore, then those mathematics go out the window. I think we can often become earth-centric in the way we become America-centric. And maybe only a few souls came from “the source” at first to test the waters, and more and more then came… Wow, I sound very new-agey!!
We watched “Fierce Grace” recently, a documentary about Ram Dass post-stroke. A powerful film that moved me in many ways. I highly recommend it…We have also been listening to Alan Watts.. I love thinking/talking about these spiritual questions and letting the thoughts that develop because of these conversations, incubate inside of me.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
As we work to prepare for our trip, there are many unknowns that trouble me from time to time. Are we going to be able to sell our car? Are we going to be able to find a home for our cat while we are away? Are we going to run out of money too soon? Will Brian be able to find a job when we come home? In our lives there are always unknowns, but our choice to leave what is secure adds a few more to our plate. For me this is intentional. I want to work on how to accept and embrace the unknowns of my life with grace and confidence. Celebrate them in fact. Be present and accepting of all that is now.
On the wall of my cubicle I have a little note that says “Non-Resistance, Non-Judgment, Non-Attachment” and another that says “To complain is non-acceptance of what is. Either take action, or accept the situation”. Both of these thoughts were garnered from this book. I think this book changed my life. It really did. Now Tolle didn’t necessarily share original thoughts and ideas on spirituality and presence, but he explained them in a way that resonated with me powerfully. The concept of your thoughts not being you, that the voice in your head is not your spirit, but a monotonous phonograph replaying all of the thoughts that limit you, hinder you and stunt you from growth and presence really started the transformation that has been happening inside of me for the last 2 years. I’ve re-read and re-listened to the book a number of times. Being in the now is a muscle you must continually exercise to have it be prominent for even just moments a day. It is worth it. Those moments are the best moments I have experienced in my life. Present with the world, with a loved one, with a pet, etc. and not worrying about the future or past whatsoever. Giving my full and active attention to one moment as it unfolds. What a beautiful thing. I am hoping to create a life that encourages the emanation of these moments more often. Tolle would maybe say that I don’t need to do anything, just “be” in whatever situation I am in. That may be true, but when your life is full of hectic activities that you don’t necessarily want to be doing, maybe the chances of hitting that “now” are slimmer?
I have a dream of working part time when we return to the states and spending that extra time doing activities that help our family live more sustainably. Gardening, cooking, canning, sewing, etc. Living on less so we can enjoy our family more. Using this trip as a springboard for transformation. Leaping into the unknown with no parachute and feeling the wind and air tickle our skin as we descend into something different. Waiting to see what the universe has to offer.
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
I am aware that Brian and I's round the world trip is not very environmentally friendly. We are taking many plane rides, many of them quite long. Today I bit the bullet and looked up what our carbon footprint would be for the trips we have booked so far for the two of us. For plane rides from:
Albany, NY to San Francisco, CA
San Francisco, CA to Wellington, New Zealand
Auckland, New Zealand to Melbourne, Australia
Brisbane, Australia to Bali, Indonesia
Bali to Bangkok, Thailand
and Bangkok to Osaka Japan
The 2 of us will use approximately 15,000 lbs CO2. That does not include any busses, trains, etc . This website allows you to invest money in green practices to help offset the cost of your carbon footprint. I was shocked at how low the cost was for both Brian and I for our trip so far by plane.
In many of the books and blogs I am reading now about urban homesteading and environmental responsibility, they mention over and over to consider only traveling locally or regionally to avoid making such a huge impact on the earth. I have been struggling a bit with this quandary.
1) Explore the world to help develop a more evolved/diverse worldview or
2) Stay close to home to contribute to your local communities and to protect the earth.
Paying these small fees helps to assuage the guilt I have for taking these plane rides, but there is still the philosophical question hanging in the air. Your thoughts?